You’ve found the right person. They’ve accepted. They have a 30 or 60 day notice period, which is completely normal.
Then most companies go quiet. HR sends a document checklist, maybe a reminder email, and everyone waits for joining day.
That silence is where backouts happen. Your new hire is still at their old desk, with their old manager, taking calls from recruiters. The only thing connecting them to you is a PDF offer letter.
The fix is simple: keep them warm. One real, two-way conversation a week until they join.
It has to be you, not HR
This only works if the hiring manager or founder does it.
HR can check documents and confirm dates. But HR doesn’t know what the new hire will actually work on, what their first 90 days look like, or what problems are waiting for them. You do.
A message from HR feels like process. A message from the person they will work for feels like a relationship. That relationship is what makes saying no to a counteroffer easier.
The weekly touchpoint
Once a week, reach out with something real. Rotate between these:
- Ask for their take on a real problem. “Here’s something we’re stuck on. What would you do?” It tells them their opinion already matters.
- Share something small to work on. A short doc to read, a dashboard to look at, a brief to think about. Keep it light. Nobody wants a full workload before they’ve even joined.
- Talk about the company. A recent win, a new customer, what the team shipped this week. Let them see what they’re walking into.
- Meet for coffee if they’re in the same city. Thirty minutes in person does more than ten messages.
- Just check in. “How’s the handover going?” is enough some weeks.
A WhatsApp message is fine. What matters is that it’s two-way. You’re not broadcasting updates, you’re starting a conversation.
What it looked like when I did it
I do this with everyone who’s about to join my team. Because I’m the one they’ll work with, I already know what they’ll do and what their goals are. Checking in is easy.
One hire was unwell during the interview process. Once we’d made the offer, I kept checking how she was doing. Just asking if she was okay.
She wasn’t working at the time, so I sent her some material to go through. I left a few parts vague on purpose, so she’d come back with questions. She did, more than once. That told me she was engaged, and it gave her something real to work on.
Another week, I was stuck on a problem I knew she had solved before. So I asked for her opinion. She had good thoughts, and she got to see how I work before her first day.
By the time she joined, we already knew each other.
Silence is a signal
Weekly contact does two jobs. It keeps the new hire close. It also gives you early warning.
If someone replies, asks questions and engages with what you send, they’re likely coming. If replies get shorter, slower, then stop, something has changed. You’ll know weeks before joining day, not the night before, and you’ll still have time to act or restart the search.
A simple cadence for a 30-day notice period:
| Week | Touchpoint | Example |
| 1 | Welcome and share context | “Excited to have you. Here’s a short doc on what you’ll own.” |
| 2 | Ask their opinion | “We’re debating X. What would you do?” |
| 3 | Meet or call | Coffee if nearby, a 20-minute call if not |
| 4 | Prepare for day one | “Here’s your first week. Anything you want to start with?” |
On a 60 or 90 day notice, repeat weeks 1 to 3 in a loop.
It takes ten minutes a week. A backout costs months. Give it a try.
